Painting for me, is very different from writing a song, writing a story or taking a photo. There will always be that level of craftmanship in the act of creating when it comes to the later. However, painting on a personal level, is more of a shamanistic, ritualistic process. You can almost say it is ‘Magikal’ (Yeah that Abbey of Thelema kind of Magikal).
Most of the time it feels as if I am actively conjuring some kind of foreign entity while at the same time not knowing quite sure what it is or what the hell I am doing most of the time.
There is a set level of skill and conscious control when it comes to producing a painting. That said, it always feels to me that this act is more of a communicative process, almost akin to a discourse. It’s strange but although technically it’s just me and a piece of cloth, I always feel like the act and ritual of painting (technically being an outward, communicative process) always pulls me into myself and reveals certain things in a particularly brutal and honest way.
After a certain point of rendering, the piece suddenly gains a life of it’s own. For this piece, it happened today after I added that one drop of black into the belly button. It is extremely disconcerting. I remember thinking to myself, “Man, I really didn’t see this coming.” and soon after that, “Wow, this is kinda cool.”
*For some reason the colours turned up in wordpress really washed out. I’ll try to fix it soon*
Nigel
290208
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About a month ago, I was in the life drawing studio rendering a nude in charcoal. The nude for that day was someone new and seemed quite inexperienced as a model. It was apparent to everyone in the room that day that she had just gone for a brazillian wax. It was also apparent that she was quite young, more or less my age. For some reason those two minor details suddenly humanized her for me in a way which was particularly disturbing as it sexualised the model for me.
Suddenly I found myself negotiating between my violation of her body with every gaze and stroke of the charcoal and the art and love put into this act of rendering. The nude suddenly became naked in my eyes. It was then that I knew what to paint for this upcoming exhibition.
Nigel
200208
1 comment
February 27, 2008 at 4:01 am
Will You Be | So Close «
[...] Nigel Heng organizes objectification, love, desire and disgust in a way which offers a discourse in the nature of the human gaze – writ large in a single image of a life sized nude. Daniel Lim’s paintings of figures in embrace express the mutual desire to be loved and accepted, whilst hinting at the stifling nature of holding someone too close. [...]